Penning down my worries

I'm having insomnia from a panick attack.

I succumbed to peer pressure and agreed on a trip to Seoul despite my financial status.

I'm unemployed and the travelling dates make it harder to find an employer.

And I desperately need of an income because after this trip, I'd have to declare bankrupt and I'm a person who needs financial security very badly.

What's worse is I can't find someone to confide in because I don't wanna hear rational solutions. I know what's the right thing to do, it's what I want to do that matters.

This is what has kept me awake. And also possibly because I'm still finding reasons to procrastinate while observing the rising cost of air tickets.

I thought writing this down will ease my mind off it... apparently it hasn't.

Back to rolling on bed worrying.

I could be condemned for saying this

Which is why I'm choosing to say it here.

If G-Dragon was an American woman doing what he's doing on stage now, he'll very likely be in the same category as Ke$ha and Miley Cyrus right now.

Nonetheless, a very talented young man. I can only hope it's all an act for a good show.

Appa Odiga

This is currently my most enjoyable TV ever. The boys minguk, joon, hoo & junsu are such lovable kids.

I hope they'd grow up and form a boyband called A.O.D.G.

Junsu, the magnae, is 7 years old. Looking at how recent boyband magnaes debut at a tender age of 15 years old, I have to wait 8 more years for this boyband to debut.

They work perfectly as a team, filling in each other's shortfalls and each having different traits and strengths.

Looking at their appa's careers, there shouldn't be a problem nurturing good idol actors, mc and songwriter in this boyband.

It'll be so much fun and daebak producing this boys!

Hey, I can also dream right?

Mid-autumn Pig Out

My family eats very well on a normal day. It gets better during festivals.

This mid-autumn I'm stuffed to the brim. There's no chance to eat light at all.

Tonight we'll be having homemade teppenyaki at the porch with our steamboat leftovers from Thursday's dinner.

Steamboat at our house is always a carnivorous affair.

Come to think of it, all meals with this family is a carnivorous affair.

Yesterday's dinner menu was old-school hainanese chicken rice and dessert at middle road. Not to forget my Aussie style brunch (booze OD) with some friends.

To say I eat too well is an understatement.

Jinxed Hands

So my mother broke the PC.

I guess this is how parents felt about destructive children. Except the tables have turned and the mother is the butterfingers.

There'll always be a computer emergency whenever she's using it.

It has been running well for the longest time and now it won't turn on.

Sigh.

Im still figuring out

So Tasty is joining the upcoming smtown Beijing. I've mixed feelings about this.

Tasty is a newbie. Perhaps newer than Exo (didn't check their debut date). They don't have a considerable fan base and are now up for the possibility of attracting anti-fans. They have talents and aren't bad looking idols.

So I've established this much about Tasty.

This is what I've surmised so far of my thoughts. The twins joining smtown is like a rich family adopting a new child. Everyone deserves a second chance, but they are afterall 不是亲生的.

I like their newest title song "Mamama". So I guess I'll cheer for them if they do perform at smtown. It'll still be weird for them to huddle up with the rest of smtown for their last song.

Procrastinating

So I'm taking a long time to find a job.

Why is it socially unacceptable for an adult to enjoy doing nothing for an extended period of time? I'm feeling the pressure of people around me getting annoyed at my idleness.

I think I'm ready to get back to work. First, let me find the keys to start my engine. I seemed to have forgotten where I kept them having rested for so long.

*Excuses, excuses, excuses*

Typing from my mobile

As the title suggests, I'm using the blogger app on my phone.

We recently have a new helper at home and she's really nice. However, somehow, ever since she's arrived, our fresh produce seems to be rotting away faster than before. She's probably thrown away more veggies and fruits in her 2 months here than the past helper did in a year.

We did found it odd but she got real defensive when we questioned about the rotten fruits and veggies. There's nothing we can do about it really.

What should we do? Honestly.

Sheena, The Saikang Warrior

Maybe this weekend wouldn't hit rock bottom just yet.

I've been informed earlier today that I'll begin licking boots and kissing asses in 1 week's time.

And then just a couple of hours today, I've been hinted that I'll probably be treated to exquisite Japanese cuisine with a special advance order of the freshest Taro Sashimi in the next 2 days.

Maybe I can choose the option of being a refined fermented tofu served in fine dining.
YEAH! Who said only wine can age finely!
*Feels self-conscious straight after finishing the last sentence.*

Men age like wine. Women age like...

Tofu?

Probably, cos I do feel pretty fermented ever since I got back.

This place is so deserted, I feel like I'm rambling to myself. Whatever. Writing to myself seems less pitiful than talking to myself.

Life updates.
Still job hunting. Still sick of talking about it.

This weekend is a very sorrowful weekend.
Like as if my life isn't bitter enough.

Although my faith is flickering like a candle in the wind, my passion is still burning like the sun. Still, age is against my favour this weekend.

Aside from the fact that 3May is right after the weekend.... NO WAIT! BECAUSE 3May is right after the weekend, I have lost ALL my guts to publicise my fangirl(?) behaviours.
It hurts ALOT (almost suffocating) to know that one fifth of TVXQ is on the same island as I am and yet I'm too chicken to enter the battlefield.

Despite being a fan, I sincerely hope that Singaporeans will give the other twin a balanced amount of screams and support. Don't make it too obvious that they are only there for the cheese and not the twin.

Honestly, I'd care less for the twin and scream my hearts out only for the cheese, which is partly why I chose to hide stay at home.
Yea... It's an excuse, but whatever makes me happy right?

P.S. even if I don't see 22 candles, I still feel rotten. The only consolation I can give myself is that at least I'm not drying up yet, cos by then, I'll probably never be able to prove that I'm not drying up no matter how much tears I produce. No wait, I probably should be more careful whenever I cry cos it may speed up the wrinkling process.

Nonetheless, I'm still fermenting. FML.

Changmin turns 22!!

And I'm a day late. Didn't manage to get home in time to write an entry b4 midnight, but even so, it's waaaaay past midnight in Korea now.

생일 축하해 창민아!

CNY is not officially over, but I've reached the end of grace period. I'm pressured to start writing my resume and get hired.

Lately, I've been facing pressures from all sorts of people. And you'd think the life of a slacker is stress-free.

It's a known fact that Na is a commitment antagonist and overindulges in independence and freedom. She is also absolutely against long-distance and generation gaps, and I mean lightyear size gaps.
I'm tolerating all the nonsense only because it's CNY and I want everyone to enjoy themselves. I've made my stand very clear. From now on, I'll ignore all absurdity and endure until it's over, that's if it ends before I get pushed to the edge of the cliff and be forced to jump to my death in order to avoid all the craziness going on.

If only I can sleep for a week and skip the next 7 days.
GET IT!?

Happy Birthday YUNHO!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUNHO OPPA!!!

Na still feels the most comfortable fangirling TVXQ.

Na will stop her “Photo Birthday Tribute” posts since its heartbreaking to read any TVXQ related news lately.

I even forgot to post an entry on Junsu’s and Jaejoong’s birthday. But it’s alright since they are traitors.

Anyways, Na’s daddy finally bought Wii. And the Ng offsprings chipped in $$ for Band Hero. Na’s ready for home parties!!! BOYB please! I’ll charge $0 for corkage. :D

Call me! ^^

Swearing off Kpop fandom*

*With exceptions.

I’ve underestimated the growth of Kpop in Singapore. Kpop’s influence in Sg wasn’t like this 5 years ago. People laughed at Koreans, thought their music was gay. Now you can’t walk on the streets and not notice a Soshi, Hottest, VIP or ELF. Still, up till today, when Kpop fangirls roam the streets of Singapore, the number of Cassies amongst these girls are scarce, let alone finding a Shinhwa Changjo (maybe old fangirls who have Hottests and Soshis as their offsprings).

SHINee’s 4D3N adventure in Sgland has got to be an eye-opener for both the group and the management. FT Island has long realised and taken advantage of the potential market in this tiny country, JYP is informed about this market but the Dancing Gorilla has plans on bigger fishies. Finally, SM Ent sees the beam of light struggling to shine through from Sg.

This 4D3N adventure was quite a rollercoaster for Na both mentally and physically. Although thankfully, I didn’t suffer from any external bruises, Na’s heart is severely wounded and has declared “Bones too brittle for fandom”.

After much persistent and loyalty, when Kpop finally arrives in Sg, Na has gotten too old to keep up with the younglings and has thus, declared defeat.

STILL! My loyalty for Kpop remains. Being a Noona fan has 1 advantage over the youngsters; Na has more freedom and ability to spend $$ and Time. Na shall Always Keep The Faith for TVXQ, and wait it out for Jaebom’s return to 2PM. Of course, concerts are a sure thing for Na :D There’s no ticket price too $$$ for a Noona fan who has patiently waited for 5 years.

Girls go for a haircut and image change when they are broken hearted. Na probably did the same thing for her setback in Fangirling. It’s an image that Na hated when she was a girl and it’s definitely not her No.1 man’s ideal look. Still, thank goodness I have CNY as an excuse for the image change so my mom wouldn’t start questioning.

Poor SHINee (and Bobby Kim). Right after they touch down, they had to attend an award ceremony in Seoul, at least they had a Bonsang award, but so did many other bands. And Onew’s legs looked perfectly fine during the performance. He looked as springy as all the other RDD performances. Fans really do think too much.

Many sour Sgreans who didnt get to watch SHINee sing OR/AND buy an expensive lousy quality album for a priceless autograph have the international fans frowning on Sgrean fangirls. Despite belonging to the 2 categories above, I still have to say, having waited for 5 years for a Kpop band that I truly care for to arrive in Sg when I’m around really makes me a selfish fangirl. Kpop often arrive in other parts of Asia EXCEPT Sg, so there’s no surprise we’re acting alittle selfish and crazy.

Fly more bands over at closer frequency and we’ll soon settle down like other parts of Asia. FT Island is a perfect example. I heard because of SHINee’s arrival, the fans in FT’s events are watching and screaming more comfortably without much competition.

Lastly, SM Ent is really getting on Na’s nerves.

1. Yunho introduced himself as JUNG Yunho and not UKNOW Yunho on his latest Evisu Photoshoot for Elle mag. DAMMIT!

2. WIth only 9 members left in their ceremony appearances, Super Junior should change their name to Super Shi Dae and introduce themselves to be rookies aiming to become like SNSD Unnies.

3. SM should get SHOT for making Super ShiDae perform Super Girl now that SJ-M is in a hiatus due to Hankyung’s lawsuit.

4. SM is dodging all the artistes who sued them and avoiding the solution of the problem by covering up with Super ShiDae performing and introducing Yunho like a solo artiste. I BET SM has already made future solo plans for Yunho and Changmin.

URGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Show Flat Only

This is just a specimen, "showroom" of Na's Haven's next concept.

It's been a tough struggle to include 2PM in the design, but now that Na's candle of faith is losing strength, it's a very sad decision made.

Okays! UPDATES!!

• Na's back for 3 weeks :( SG SUCKS!!
• If only Na has stayed in Brissy for 2 more weeks :( :( :(
• If only Na has considered Vancouver as a choice for immediate pursue of a Masters Degree.
• Na has YET to unpack her luggagesss. The mess is getting on her mother's nerves. Her mother is getting on her nerves.
  
• Na wishes to have never returned.
• Na occassionally gets paranoid about the amount of download quota she has left.
• Na constantly forgets that shops closes at 9pm.
• Na is not used to travelling w/o bus, train & ferry timetables.
• Na almost looked into a bus uncle's eyes and greeted him.
• Na misses her room in Unit 5.
• Na misses her bed and pillows in Unit 5.
• Na misses her housemates in Unit 5.
• Na misses her life in Brissy.
• SG Sucks. Reality Sucks. Life Sucks.

Now let me pretend to be an emo teenager for a while. I promise to bounce back as soon as I find a new degree and country to chase after.

Vancouver?
Seattle?
LA?
Tokyo?
Seoul?
or should I really go Indonesia and study Law just to escape from this place?

Tentative Hiatus in Renovation Progress

Due to financial constraints (insufficient download quota), the renovation works of this blog is going to take longer than predicted.

A little update to keep all informed:

• Na has graduated and is officially holding a Bachelor in Business Management (Marketing) from University of Queensland.
  
• Na is NOT a graduate of University of Indonesia with a Bachelor in Law.
  
• Na is returning JUST before Christmas.
• Na is currently suffering from allergic reactions from taking anti-inflammatory medication and looks revolting now. I looked so fugly last night, I deserve to kill myself.
• Na has NOT started packing her room AT ALL.
• So Na will be busy clearing her ALL her belongings and vacating the lovely country for good.
• Na still loves TVXQ, and now also loves 2PM. Unfortunately, due to unforseen circumstances (insufficient download quota), Na is VERY back-dated with the latest updates of their wellbeing.

Lastly, renovations will resume after Christmas. Sorry for the inconveneince caused.

Under Construction

Keep Out!

Blog under renovation for a new look.

Reopening soon!

Uknow Loves Na!

True to form, Na has 2 papers 12 hours later, and she’s here blogging again. Is like she only blogs when she have other things that she needs to do but resigns doing it.

She finished revisions for 1 paper and has yet to finalise revision for the 2nd paper. So she’s up here taking a break in between, looking for company online.

It may be 2am in Aus, but it’s only 12mn in Sg, and god knows what time in the afternoon in Europe. Her Europe (not European) friend who’s nice enough to keep me entertained on msn just brought our friendship to a whole new level.

When we first met, we talked about boybands and boys.

As we grew older, she started experimenting her <s>mom’s</s> maid’s kitchenware and got us all interested in that topic during conversations.

Tonight, marks the night where conversations have moved beyond the kitchen and to other parts of household chores.

Age really does wonders. The moment we hit 21 is the moment our conversations turn old and boring.

Or maybe that’s what uni and exams do to Na’s brain.

P.S. This friend doesn’t know that I have 2 papers in the afternoon, otherwise she’ll probably chase me back to my books.

Oh! She also admits that Uknow loves Na! :)

Evidence:

Are you watching, Leadja?

2PM – Heartbeat

Jaebum must be so relieved he didn’t have to tie a ponytail on the top of his head. And I’m not being sensitive, but the vocals really sound super hollow without Jaebum in it.

Still, they decided to put Wooyoung in front, relieving Jay’s lines and doing the final move at the end. *Lovess* Though Jay would have done it best, Wooyoung is undoubtly the 2nd best :D

If watching 2PM can get me so emotional and heartbroken, I wonder how will TVXQ’s next on screen appearance affect me.

Thanks to TIme2Sub2@YT, the subbed version of JYPark breaking the silence on Golden Fishery is finally out.

After all that said, I still wish for Jay to return asap. He can’t blame the fans for putting pressure when the situation looked like chances of Jay’s return are slim. It’s nearly 3 months, yet it feels like half a year had gone by. Netizens have moved on, and Hottests are still waiting.

I guess Jay won’t be back for this album’s promotions. Let’s hope he finds it enough punishment to miss 2PM’s 1st album and return for their next release whenever that will be.

2PM without Leadja really sucks.

Procrastinators, Leaders of Tomorrow.

Na is having her first paper in 5 hours time and she’s youtubing/blogging right now.

Other than the official commencement of Na’s last exam period in Aussie Land, tomorrow is also the release of 2PM’s first album without Leadja Jay Park.

Speculations have been flying since Jay’s departure, with the latest believe that Jay will someday return because JYP still owns him (contractual-ly). But also notice that there has been no announcements from JYPE reappointing the new leader of 2PM, so there’s a likelihood that Hottests Fans are not the only ones pinning hope of Jay’s return.

This has been such a horrible 2nd half of the year. I miss TVXQ and 2PM so much! Why must it be Na’s 2 most important boybands!?!?

Just as I’m fretting about boyband troubles, Na would also like to announce that amidst all the bad luck she’s been having lately, a miracle has landed upon her, and she’s gratefully thankful for whoever’s responsible for the miracle.

Na ponders: “It might have been my own doing, a combination of quick thinking and agile hands, but I better not get too full of myself in case I jinx it.”

Maybe I already did. Bad luck might have returned for a visit this week. Na found a small lump underneath her skin on her neck. Based on some past experiences at home, some general knowledge, google and wikipedia, she suspects its a lymph node. The bill fits, but then again, the only thing I’m certified to diagnose is Kpop.

Just pray that the lump is benign and stays that way until I fly home for cheap clinical fees.

Nothing to Say

New updates on TVXQ’s lawsuit.

So many controversies, so many press releases, news releases and official statements, no idea which one to believe.

The only thing fans should believe is “Always Keep The Faith” inked on Jaechun’s heart and Yunho’s promise made for the past 5 years.

Yunho’s drama just ended shooting, Changmin is starting to shoot soon, Jaejoong’s tv-movie opening soon. SM should be damned for their official statements released after the court rulings.