Little Devils

It's been such a long time since I've had so much contact with so many kids. The last time I had interaction with children was when I was one myself.

I was asked to tend the inflatable playground in a Carnival, an inflatable that wasn't well-designed for kids. It stood at the height of 2 storeys, had really high steps (nearly the height of a 5 year old), a pretty steep slide and a very small landing ground.

I stationed myself on the top of the inflatable, regulating the traffic flow. It was total chaos at first. Fights, bullies, pushing and crying. I thought I could be a nice big sister and persuade them to play nice. But no, none listened and things got worse. Parents started intruding and shouted orders at me from below. Curses.

I have a natural stern face to start off with, so being one wasn't tough. Boys used to shun me because of that. Just a little screaming and commanding was all I need.

There were 3 boys who left quite an impression at the end of the day.

1st was Darren, 6years old. Yeps, I even got his name (: He's really cheeky and smart. He knows how to suck up to me to get away with all the naughty deeds. It started when he was bullied on his way up and I went to his rescue. He came up again offering me a candy. From then on, on every turn, he would run up and shine his bright smiley face at me, 'smooth talking' his way through whenever he cuts the queue.

He reminds me of InHwan. *Cuteness!*

2nd was a toddler. He's really small, but very brave. Most probably only 3 years old or maybe younger. He doesn't talk or smile and can't seem to follow instructions very well. I felt abit irritated at first, he was very unresponsive. It was only until his XX no. of turns when I realise he was still in diapers. All along I thought he just had a smaller build but no, he's just a brave toddler.
*Respect*

3rd is another boy, probably around Primary 4. He came up to me and tried to make conversations like an adult, but failed terribly.

Boy: So when is the President coming?
Na: The President is not coming.
Boy: Then who is coming?
Na: The Prime Minister is coming. (There was a printing error on the stage backdrop, which I wasn't aware of.)
Boy: Then can take knife and stab him?
Na: For what? You want to go jail ah?
Boy: Nevermind one, the ambulance is just there, he won't die de.
Na: .....
And it was the boy's turn to play on the slide.

Was he trying to be funny?

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Heard from Qp that ShuHsien is a potential TVXQ fan. Most importantly, all the credit goes to Na's Haven. Woots! It proves that all my hardwork pays off, and there ARE people who actually read and WATCH my entries.

The thing is, according to Qp, ShuHsien seems to have more interest in Yunho. On one hand, I feel happy cuz Finally some1 thinks like me. But then again, it hurts to share Yunho with one more person. (Okays, I see people rolling their eyes already. Try stopping me from being emo.)

SH, if you're reading this, I welcome you with open arms to the TVXQ World.

Cleaning Out The Closet

My first time was only months ago, when I was 18 going on 19. Her body was still warm, my mom was by her side, tearing profusely while screaming for her. I didn't detect any difference at all, she was almost motionless for almost a month already. I refuse to believe my eyes.

For a moment, I understood how one's heart can actually 'think', because for once, my heart overruled my brain to be in denial.

That week, I had trouble being near her, but I missed her. I've never seen anyone in that state, and to add to it, some1 really close. I'm not scared, it just hurts too much. For those few days I needed some1 beside me whenever I visited her. I'm just not strong enough.

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A few hours ago, just months after the first time, I encountered round 2. It was hard to handle, especially when it's somebody who's only 1 year younger. She chose to end it all at her aunt's lift lobby. I guess she needed some1 to bring her to her family.

Hearing her aunt telling others the scene of her act makes me tremble. Then, the thought of letting go and ending my story flashed across my mind. It felt good.

But seeing the grieve of her family erased bliss from my mind. The thought of her family clearing out her belongings brings me back to memories from the (not too long ago) past.

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It still bothers me that the room is now totally different from what it was for the past 10 years. And I've never dared to admit that I've been dragging time to move in. Relatives will ask how's my new room, and I'll always try to change the subject.

I miss her so much.

Devastated.

This year, my life is fluctuating like shares in the stock market.

Today is another day I will never forget. 6 days after I turn 19, I lose another friend (sort of).

When I first moved in, her maid and my maid became friends. From them, we learnt of each other and started hanging out. She was 1 year younger, had 1 elder sis and 1 younger bro, which makes us both 2nd in place. We had picnics and played dolls. I remember once when her cousin was at her place, she fell out with him and her didi cuz she felt unjust. She left home and seek refuge at my place. We hid her and protected her until she felt she was ready to face them again.

I never suspected anything, I thought it was just another middle-child syndrome.

We drifted apart after entering secondary school. I became a girl with AP and her mother was being competitive. Soon, our conversations shortened and eventually, body language became our communication tools.
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I slept late, 3 in the morning. By the time I woke up, I only had 20mins left until tutorial starts. It was nothing new because this was how life had been since start of school.

As I was rushing out of house at 9.05am, I saw her emerging from her house. There was no doubt about taking a cab, so I paused and considered to offer her a ride. She heard my footsteps and took a quick glance. I was already 5mins late and she was taking her own sweet time, so I skipped the basic courtesy of even greeting and dashed out to hail a cab.

On my journey to school, it bothered me that I ignored her because this trip might bring us closer. But judging from the time she's leaving home, it's just the right time to catch a bus to school for a 10am class. She'll reach school and still have enough time to drag her feet to class. I convinced myself that she doesn't have to reach 40mins early and stone alone.

School ended early because my lecturer met an accident. He wasn't hurt but the car was disfigured. Whatever. I get to go home early to sleep.

I was napping on my living room couch and it was nearly time for dinner. I heard the gate open but nobody was entering the house. It's either my mom or my dad. I was looking out because I know I'll have to wake up when they return. No footsteps, no voice. Maybe it wasn't our gate, maybe it was next door. I was probably half asleep when I hear the 'click' of the gates.

But I wasn't wrong. My mom entered and came to my side. She sounded nervous and told me something bad happened. I ignored, thinking that this is just one of her tactics to wake us up. Finally, she gave up and whispered in my ear.

She didn't survive.

Not yet 18. No one suspected. And I might be the last to have seen her.
If only I stopped to give her a ride.
If only I did more than just smiling.
If only....
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All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

Now I'm having doubts about my belief : Time will heal all wounds, Scars will trail behind.
But true enough, Time will Tell.

I've never loved my Brother more than this.

Yes! He bought it! But he only bought 1. It costs him S$60 per DVD, so he decided to just buy 1 for me since he owe me a present and a birthday celebration. When I told him I'll pass this to my friend he exploded. Okays, I admit, I caught him in the wrong mood.

Watching it now. Sweet. Drooling when it was Yunho's solo. But there's no Changmin's solo. ): Feel so cheated larx. And Yunho's solo wasn't the one I wanted. No wait, or was the one I wanted from the 2nd concert?? Hmm.. gotta check with Qp. Their costumes are way Sexy! Hawt!

Watching this dvd just makes me itch for the 2nd concert's dvd, which I'll probably have to wait for At Least 1 more year until it's out. Grrrr...

Hectic days since the start of school. It's only the 3rd week and I've submissions and presentations already. I checked out my ex-classmates in HR's workload and found out they've only just been introduced to their project scope. Dang!
Kind regret taking Marketing instead of HR. Life would probably be less stressful.

After nailing 2 projs down, there's more installed for the next week. So far, I've 1 proj submission next week.

1 this wed + 1 this fri + 1 nxt tues = 3 projects to submit.

Anyways, I Love My Kor SooooVmuch, U-know?

Thank you EVERYBODY!!!

There's only minutes left until my birthday ends.

What a day.

One day, the three of us (my bros and i) asked my mom what time did she give birth us (individually).

My kor - late morning.
My didi - early in the morning when it was only a few hours into the day.
Me - there were only ard 30mins left till the end of the day.

So they were teasing me. Both of them had almost all day to celebrate their birthdays. I only had ard 30 mins. So technically, my birthday starts from this time of today until the clock strikes 12. Tragic.

I've been spending my entire day playing host to my friends. Yep, people came to my house, but it wasn't for a party, it was serious business. We have 3 projects due Friday(tmr), Monday and Tuesday respectively. "\(>_<) /" Now that they have left, I'll spend my last 30mins of birthday pampering myself before I head back to the dreadful proposals and write-ups. Well, it wasn't all that bad today. Sab must have told the rest that it was my bday today and they came up with comical make-shift celebration after dinner. Hmm... an 'eleventh-hour' garnish on a choc saralee cake. But it made me smile.
And they even singsong-cutcake with my parents (this time a real cake, which my dad bought, something Elements nv did. ):


Last night had a great night with Elements + Alvin & Bernard. Although it wasn't a great turnout as compared to last year's but the present from Elements made up for everything flaw. I would dare say that that present would have been sufficient.
THE BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!!!!!!!!!!

Had dinner at Vivo in an Uber Freezing Restaurant and to think that we still had an ice-cream cake when all of us were almost frosted. We chat (gossipd) by the sea on the roof of Vivo until all the shops closed and people had to go home and prepare for sch/work.

The thing is, we saw interesting people on the deck. 1st it was a suspected les couple, which brought us into the subject of Gaysm.

Then, it was a overly intimate couple at the front of the deck dressed in working attire. We suspect they're having an affair (or a rendezvous), otherwise they could just go home and be touchy-touchy all they want.

Next it was a group of family/friends (people) with a swensens (icecream?) cake. We thought they were gonna singsong-cutcake on the deck and we will just join them. But they left soon after we've settled down. Oh wells.

Lastly, it was a pair of brothers. The didi was adorable, screaming and running around the deck like the 2 weird couples doesn't exist. Afterall, he's too young to realise anything, but he's presence interrupted the 2 weird couples on a few occasions, making it less awkward for us to be around them.

Oh yea! Today on Channel 51, MTV Taiwan, they showed clips of TVXQ Rising Sun Concert DVD!!! On my birthday!! WooHoo! I'll try to catch the repeat telecast in the morning (if I can wake up in time). Thrilled to see them on TV once again. Uknow and gang Totally make up for all the dreadful things (projects) I have today.

I've not been networking for a Looooong time. So I'm quite surprised that people still rmbd my birthday.

Thank you everyone for everything!

I would like to thank Sabrina, Rene, Daisy and Christina for today. I thought today was gonna be the most Dull birthday I can ever have (for the past 3years). I've had worse birthdays (Birthdays on exams - Science paper to be exact).

My parents, for giving me a sumptuous dinner at TungLok, ordering all my favourites! Although u didn't buy me the $1.4k bedframe bcuz u didn't like it but I'll make sure u make up for it next year.

And Alvin(my BBDC buddy) & Bernard(Lao Jie Mei) for attending dinner last night.

Lastly, I wanna thank -Elements: Shan, Fel, Laine, Zw- for My Wonderful Present! I Love All of You!! I Love My Present Most of All!!!!!!

I won't be thanking my kor yet. I'll wait till he returns tmr and see what he's got for me.
*Fingers-Crossed*

Hooray! Enjoying it right this moment!!!! Can't believe how Overwhelmed I am!!!!

I LOVE You, U.Know?? *Hints* ROFL

Every second is a torture.

My kor is Taiwan and I'm dying for him to return. Not because I miss him (I'm too used to his absence at home), but because he's given a very important task. (Optimistic wise,) ther's a 50-50 chance of him accomplishing the mission, but I know him too well to not keep my spirits up.

In our own ways, we are spoilt. Because he is the oldest, he learnt the ways of independence at a very young age. Among the three, he had the least toys and never dared to ask for toys. He was taught to earn for his rewards and never take things for granted. So when he grew up, he taught tuition for his gadgets and worked for his branded merchandise. (But of cuz the folks pay for the big ticket items.)

For that, he earned our respect and thus hold great authority over us. With a maid serving us all our lives, he has 2 younger siblings to add to the service. Yeps, we're often ordered around and we never refusd.

He has a goal, a goal influenced greatly by my parents. His goal is to make money and he'll do whatever (morally upright) to earn as much cash as possible. [Btw, he has his own definition of morally upright -which i will explain later.] He once said to my parents, "You are the cause of what I am now. I was told to study really hard so that I can earn lots of money and not end up a roadsweeper. So that's what I'm doing now, studying so that I can be rich."

Therefore, he took up Law because of indirect passion. Lawyers earn good income - Good income = Rich. Ultimately, his passion (since primary school) is Money.

He thinks that you can do anything illegal as long as you don't get caught. So unless you have a 100% foolproof plan to commit an offence, you're an idiot. But I'll not worry about him doing so because everyone knows that there's no such thing as a 100% foolproof plan and in an illegal act, anything that can go wrong will go wrong. He's too smart to not see that.

Yep, he's too smart. Few possess high IQ and EQ, he's one of them. People say a child's brain absorbs like a sponge, apparently his brain has never left that era, it still absorbs like a sponge at the age of 23, while I'm turning into a resistor. He's also good at networking, meeting friends everywhere we go - like all ard Singapore.

Asking him for a favour is like moving a mountain hill.

I've to:
- Test his mood b4 approaching him
- Plead him countless of times
- Make sure it doesn't affect him/give way to him
- If he refuse, end of story.

He refused my request for Rising Sun DVD. I pleaded him for 2 whole weeks, he said he'll try, no guarantee. So now, should I still be optimistic?
Truthfully, I'm only 5% sure that he'll get it for me. *Fingers-crossed*

Shite, I'm feeling shitty after writing this.

Hope Shan gives me good news soon. Can't stand the torture. I need Plan B urgently.