Finally its sch again. New sem, new mods. Sigh.
My mom seems to be picking on me all the time. She has everything to say about all I do. I have been keeping quiet, ignoring her comments for quite some time already. I've kept peace for so long and I have my limits. Grrr...
1st day of my 2nd sem is only 2hrs, exactly the same as my Very 1st day of school. LoLx. Haven get my textbooks yet, haven gotten my notes yet.
I am afraid, I am clueless, I am terrified, I am dubious of my future.
I need hope, I need faith, I need strength.
Sometimes, I realli feel like giving up. It so tiring to live on. Sometimes I find live realli meaningless. We strive so hard just to survive, and yet we live to die. Ironic. I dont know what my future will be like, I am afraid to face it, no confidence. Now I get to take breaks in school, but when I step into the outside world, there will be no breaks, it would be work everyday until retirement. The break only comes when everything ends. Is this worth it, can I take it?
I hate myself. I love myself.
?.?.
Simply Happy. Simply Sad.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Dear Sb and Cw
Read my previos post and you will realise that I dont have time to shop at all, not even the boutiques in the hotel.
To Sb, the little gift wasnt meant to be grand lorx. Its suppose to be a Little Gift! You are expecting too much le. I dont have time to shop at all, so I dont have any souveniers for u.
To Cw, I will slap Sb Damn Hard and Voilent Twice On Both cheeks! He is SOooooo Irritating Lah! Argh!
To Sb, the little gift wasnt meant to be grand lorx. Its suppose to be a Little Gift! You are expecting too much le. I dont have time to shop at all, so I dont have any souveniers for u.
To Cw, I will slap Sb Damn Hard and Voilent Twice On Both cheeks! He is SOooooo Irritating Lah! Argh!
Totally Exhausted
Back from Batam. The dinner was pretty expected. My family was assignd to sit near the speakers again. Sigh. All the karaeoke singing wasnt as bad as i thought it wld be cuz the guest seems to be alot more shy than the previous dinner.
The day started early in the morning at 10am when everyone gatherd at harbourfront to take a ferry to batam. I dont get seasick but i dont like the feeling in the ferry, bumpy and wobbly.
Then, we went out for lunch aft checking in. Lousy. Most of the dishes had fish in it. There was only a dish of meat, chicken, and 2 veggies. Fish Fish Fish Fish Fish Fish Fish!
Then, its time for make up! LoLx. My cousin (the groom's little brother) drove us gals to their (the groom's older sisters) stylist.
The dinner was held in the ballroom of our hotel, so we cld take our time. I helpd out at the reception, give out doorgifts, sign the guestbook, give them their assign tables.
Finally, the dinner started. Slow Loud Smoky. My cousin (my oldest cousin) decided to perform, the first and only singer for the night. There's this custom in indo wedding dinners that u can give Ang Baos for the singers for any reasons. For my cousin's performance, only we gave him Ang Baos (including the bride and groom).
There was this China man who went up to sing some China song. " Zhong Guo Xing" or something like tat. After the song he added that he is proud to be a China man and welcome us to visit China. I was like 'What The Hell?' Some patriotic China (mayb drunk) man on stage. He kept calling us 'Tong Bao', he was Soooo close to becoming a 'Tong Zhi Men'. Freaky.
At 12midnight, the guest started leaving. It was until 1am when the ballroom cleared, and there was the tea ceremony. The Singapore relatives did not attend the wedding ceremony cuz it was on a weekday and we had to make it up aft the dinner. Then its photo time! My cousin(the groom) was totally drunk, they had to force water down him to wake him up a little. The Groom side had more relatives, we had to squeeeeeeze to fit the camera. Took the camera men at least half an hour to fit us in. Phew! It was 2am by the time I return to my room. Shagged.
The "next" morning, woke up at 9+. Realli dont feel like getting up for breakfast. Ate until 11 and sat there chatting until 12. Went up packing and got ready to check out. Had lunch at the hotel's restaurant and left for the jettiii.
This is how I spent the weekend in Batam.
The day started early in the morning at 10am when everyone gatherd at harbourfront to take a ferry to batam. I dont get seasick but i dont like the feeling in the ferry, bumpy and wobbly.
Then, we went out for lunch aft checking in. Lousy. Most of the dishes had fish in it. There was only a dish of meat, chicken, and 2 veggies. Fish Fish Fish Fish Fish Fish Fish!
Then, its time for make up! LoLx. My cousin (the groom's little brother) drove us gals to their (the groom's older sisters) stylist.
The dinner was held in the ballroom of our hotel, so we cld take our time. I helpd out at the reception, give out doorgifts, sign the guestbook, give them their assign tables.
Finally, the dinner started. Slow Loud Smoky. My cousin (my oldest cousin) decided to perform, the first and only singer for the night. There's this custom in indo wedding dinners that u can give Ang Baos for the singers for any reasons. For my cousin's performance, only we gave him Ang Baos (including the bride and groom).
There was this China man who went up to sing some China song. " Zhong Guo Xing" or something like tat. After the song he added that he is proud to be a China man and welcome us to visit China. I was like 'What The Hell?' Some patriotic China (mayb drunk) man on stage. He kept calling us 'Tong Bao', he was Soooo close to becoming a 'Tong Zhi Men'. Freaky.
At 12midnight, the guest started leaving. It was until 1am when the ballroom cleared, and there was the tea ceremony. The Singapore relatives did not attend the wedding ceremony cuz it was on a weekday and we had to make it up aft the dinner. Then its photo time! My cousin(the groom) was totally drunk, they had to force water down him to wake him up a little. The Groom side had more relatives, we had to squeeeeeeze to fit the camera. Took the camera men at least half an hour to fit us in. Phew! It was 2am by the time I return to my room. Shagged.
The "next" morning, woke up at 9+. Realli dont feel like getting up for breakfast. Ate until 11 and sat there chatting until 12. Went up packing and got ready to check out. Had lunch at the hotel's restaurant and left for the jettiii.
This is how I spent the weekend in Batam.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
So Slow!
I almost forgot all about blogging. haha. I've finished the entire show Wang Zi Bian Qing Wa! Channel U still has a Long way to go. Im starting a new show Er Zhuo Ju Zi Wen. I prefer this show to the FrogPrince. Nicer, looking for the comics. Downloading the full epi of Er Mo Zai Shen Bian for 4days already. Its very slow! only 72.7% downloaded!
I'll be going to Batam to attend my cousin's wedding. My relationship with this cousin is kinda ambiguous. Im not sure if he is my close relative or not. My ah ma is his mom's birth mom, and his mom is adopted by my ah ma's sister. Now, my ah ma's sister passed away, but his mom has always knew and acknwledged my ah ma as her birth mom. So... haha. Blurred. Leaving for the weekend. Hate weddings in Batam. It can last for 5hrs! Annoying. Dont know what am i to wear too. I dont wanna be too formal but I dont wanna disrespect the couple too. Sigh. Headache.
Should I go visit the Astro camp tmr? I feel lazy. I hate travelling so I love to stay at home. Mayb I will drop by for a short little while. Hafta pass them their little souveneirs, hope they will be able to make good use of it for that night. haha.. dont think dirrty orhx... LoLx
I'll be going to Batam to attend my cousin's wedding. My relationship with this cousin is kinda ambiguous. Im not sure if he is my close relative or not. My ah ma is his mom's birth mom, and his mom is adopted by my ah ma's sister. Now, my ah ma's sister passed away, but his mom has always knew and acknwledged my ah ma as her birth mom. So... haha. Blurred. Leaving for the weekend. Hate weddings in Batam. It can last for 5hrs! Annoying. Dont know what am i to wear too. I dont wanna be too formal but I dont wanna disrespect the couple too. Sigh. Headache.
Should I go visit the Astro camp tmr? I feel lazy. I hate travelling so I love to stay at home. Mayb I will drop by for a short little while. Hafta pass them their little souveneirs, hope they will be able to make good use of it for that night. haha.. dont think dirrty orhx... LoLx
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Confused
I just cant stand small fonts.
I think I am too slacky nowadays. I seem to forget the days and dates of everyday already.
It started last friday night. I thought it was only wednesday until my brother reminded me that it was friday and I had astro. I was totally stunnd. How come time is passing faster than before?
Then last night, my brother asked me if I was going out on thurs and fri. I was thinking, " today is only tuesday, how would I know my schedule on thurs and fri?" So I asked why he ask, and thats when he realise that I am lost in time again.
Freaking shit. I realli need to get out more oftn before I lose my way in time one more time.
Tmr is Friday. I have Astro on Friday nights. Hafta drill that in my head.
I think I am too slacky nowadays. I seem to forget the days and dates of everyday already.
It started last friday night. I thought it was only wednesday until my brother reminded me that it was friday and I had astro. I was totally stunnd. How come time is passing faster than before?
Then last night, my brother asked me if I was going out on thurs and fri. I was thinking, " today is only tuesday, how would I know my schedule on thurs and fri?" So I asked why he ask, and thats when he realise that I am lost in time again.
Freaking shit. I realli need to get out more oftn before I lose my way in time one more time.
Tmr is Friday. I have Astro on Friday nights. Hafta drill that in my head.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Head Spinning
My head has been hurting for 2 days in a row already. It started hurting because I've been watching too much television, causing the nerve frm my eye to my brain to tense up. I thought it would get better after a good night rest, but it didnt. My neighbour had to fix their stupid aircons for the whole day! All the drilling and hammering is giving me no peace at all. Finally, the workers decided to call it a day, and my brain feels better now. Panadol seems to be losing its effect on me, it takes a longer time to stop the pain. I had to stick salonpas on my forehead to soothe the pain. Because of my headache, I had to miss watching the movie 'Corpse Bride'. Nvm, I can watch it another time, if not, I'll just have to miss it. Tight on cash now.
WOoHoo! My mom just told me that I dont have to go work!!! It happens that there's not enough computer in the office! Well, my job was to install and test out a new wages software in the accounting com, but if I were to use that com, the accountant will not have a com to give out salary(using the old method) in time. So, she will have to do everything herself without my help. LoLx! Soooo Lucky! that means I dont have to work! I can stay at home and slack guilt free! Double WooHooooo!
Thursday, October 06, 2005
I PASSED!
Thats right! I passed every single module! I dont have to appeal! all my worries are gone! I am now guilt free! I was so afraid that I didnt dare to wake up this 'morning'. Whenever I think of my result slip, I see red Fs all over it! I've never felt so useless before! Thank God when i finally plucked up courage to check it out, I found no failures at all! no Ds at all! but there were no As either. Who cares, as long as I passed thats all that matterz.
So far my mom hasnt asked me to work yet. I realli hope they wont mention it anymore. I hate working. I think I should start studying for next semester. Mayb I should go get my new textbooks and start the sem early. My mom scolded me for not working hard enough. Now I am the least likeable child in the family. I receive relatively less encouragements and rewards frm my parents. Feel like Im having the middle child syndrome, but if i look frm another point of view, I am realli the most useless child in the family. So both parties are at fault. Mayb i should realli start pulling up my socks before i ask for more.
So far my mom hasnt asked me to work yet. I realli hope they wont mention it anymore. I hate working. I think I should start studying for next semester. Mayb I should go get my new textbooks and start the sem early. My mom scolded me for not working hard enough. Now I am the least likeable child in the family. I receive relatively less encouragements and rewards frm my parents. Feel like Im having the middle child syndrome, but if i look frm another point of view, I am realli the most useless child in the family. So both parties are at fault. Mayb i should realli start pulling up my socks before i ask for more.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
I'm Back!
I've been home for 3 days already but I only feel like updating the blog now. Only write this because weiyuan complained!
I tell you ah! Thailand has a major transvesttite problem! I saw alot of aquas, hell lot of aquas! Among the aquas I've seen in thai, there was one which caught my attention. It was realli realli tall and *ahem* pretty. What's so special abt It, is that It has Super Big Breast! at least a Cup E! In addition, It was wearing a corset that looks too small for It to the extent that the corsat only cover until Its nipples, the rest of the breast is flowing out of Its clothes! I bet guys would struggle whether to look or not to look at that particular aqua!
Freaking shit. I am watching some "use a condom, have safe sex" documentary on MTV. Seeing the different ways of advertising this campaigne in different countries is funny. In one commercial, they put the condom over a gaseos drink can, shake it, and opened it. The condom expanded like a balloon and the drink spilled out, showing how tough the condom is! Sick shittingly funny!
Dont know wats wrong with my stomach. It's been aching since the day b4, lao sai 3 times only. Realise that i should watch out on my diet. ate 3 pears just now, dont know if my tummy can take it.
I tell you ah! Thailand has a major transvesttite problem! I saw alot of aquas, hell lot of aquas! Among the aquas I've seen in thai, there was one which caught my attention. It was realli realli tall and *ahem* pretty. What's so special abt It, is that It has Super Big Breast! at least a Cup E! In addition, It was wearing a corset that looks too small for It to the extent that the corsat only cover until Its nipples, the rest of the breast is flowing out of Its clothes! I bet guys would struggle whether to look or not to look at that particular aqua!
Freaking shit. I am watching some "use a condom, have safe sex" documentary on MTV. Seeing the different ways of advertising this campaigne in different countries is funny. In one commercial, they put the condom over a gaseos drink can, shake it, and opened it. The condom expanded like a balloon and the drink spilled out, showing how tough the condom is! Sick shittingly funny!
Dont know wats wrong with my stomach. It's been aching since the day b4, lao sai 3 times only. Realise that i should watch out on my diet. ate 3 pears just now, dont know if my tummy can take it.
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