I am just another spare.

Sometimes I feel like I'm a sparetyre friend.

I'm only called upon when others are not available.

Is it because I do have enough EQ? or am I just another boring friend?

In all 17 years of my life, I can't seem to handle friendships very well. In fact, I can't handle humans very well.

Maybe it's because I think too much into something, making me a dull girl.

Any comments?

oh wait, if you are one them who treated me like a spare, I would rather you forget me as a friend. Don't even bother calling me up anymore. It just hurts me more than when I'm branded a bitch (by a non-existent human).

So Excited!! Exhilarated!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!!!

I FOUND EDISON'S BLOG!!!!!!

YES!! EDISON CHEN!!!! 陈冠希!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

some of you may say that it's probably a fake, but there are his life photos! his details of the interviews he just did!! his life events!! his friends!! how real can this get!!! He talks about his fans, his friends!!!

It's just all too real!!

I will visit that blog everyday!!! Drool at his everyday events!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And so the debate starts here...

The NYP scandal is on the newspaper again. This time, it started a debate between my kor and my mom - the future lawyer vs the origin of the brains(in the family).

Results? Nobody won, Nobody lost.

But my mom lost the lawyer in explaining herself clearly. My kor and I end up not understanding what she was trying to say. She was also going out of point. Shows that she's losing. We ended there.

My kor's point of view- every1 has their own moral values. Do not use your own moral values to judge other's, because the other party might not think likewise.

- If you want to comment on others, you are just plainly KPO.

My mom's point of view- Moral values is set by the people. As long as you step out of the box (of morals), you have to be prepared to be commented.

- she agreed with my kor that other than black and white, there are grey areas. But when I ask her to give examples of her version of grey areas, she can't name any.

My kor's version of grey areas- abortion. Some people don't mind abortion, some find it a sin.

- So if a woman goes for abortion and finds it ok, why should the others who find it bad use their own believes to judge her?

My stand? I agree with my kor, but we will never be able to stop the people from commenting. They will never see his point.

because I wouldn't want others to do the same to me, especially if I think what i did was alright.

My Most Memorable Worst Day Ever!!

I shall start at 3am of 24th February 2006.

3am: Round up my macro revision. Watch one episode of 恶魔在身边 to calm my brain.

4am: Lights out. Can't get to sleep

5am: Finally slept for less than an hour.

6am: My phone hanged while the alarm sets off. I spent 2mins to dismantle the batteries to stop the ringing. Try and get back to sleep

7am: 2nd alarm went off just when I manage to sleep. Layed on the bed until 7.41am. Rushed to the toilet.

8am: Rushed out of the house at 10mins past 8. Did a 400meters sprint to catch bus 151 at 8.31am. Reached school at 8.50am. Exam doors closed for reading time.

9am: Exam doors opened for latecomers(me). Take macro paper.

11am: Can't decide whether to go to elaine's birthday dinner because I have another paper at 9am the next day and I never had a proper rest for the entire night.

1st bus 151 was full. I had to wait for the 2nd one. 2nd bus 151 was almost full. I am the last passenger that manage to squeeze into the bus. I was swearing and cursing the NUS students.

1pm: Finally reached home, can't get to sleep.

3pm: Studied until falling asleep. I was crouching on my sofa hugging not my notes, not the cushions, but my laptop. I have no idea how my laptop became my pillow. This shows how tired I was.

4pm: Alvin called to tell me that he was going to Elaine's birthday dinner. Discussed with chengwei and alvin(conference), decided to turn up. Talked to yunshan/zhiwei/elaine and chengwei (all at the same time) on what to get for elaine.

5pm: continued studying for my paper tomorrow.

6pm: Got dressed up and left home. Peak Hour Jam along Pasir Panjang Road(where I live). Bus143 was packed. I managed to squeeze in, swearing and cursing much more this time. Manage to get a seat in the mids of the journey to PS. Tried to study onboard.

7pm: Reached PS Manhattan Fish Market (I think I got the restaurant right). Said hello to Felicia Chengwei Elaine Xenia Shuying Alvin Zhiwei Yunshan Joseph.

I went bonkers in the restaurant from the moment I stepped in until we leave(@9pm)

9pm: Left PS. I realise how fast I walk when I am tired. My legs can't seem to stop walking cuz when I stop, they will tremble. Broke my record walking time from PS to the HawParCentre(beside Spore Shopping Centre beside Park Mall) bus stop.

Bus143 home was also packed. Manage to get a squeezy seat. Lazy to change seats. Studied onboard.

10pm: Reached home. Started writing this.

Conclusion: Lack of Sleep, Horrid Bus (6)Rides, Emotionally Unstable.

Swear and curse.

I think I hear footsteps...

OhOh! it must be the footsteps of Mr. Boredom Man. I think it's him, cuz the hols are coming and so he's paying me a visit to accompany me.

Hold On. There's more than 1set of footsteps. It must be Mr. No Life, Mr. Boredom Man's buddy. He must be here to join Mrs. No Life, who has been living with me for quite sometime. How nice? Mr. No Life and Mrs. No Life reuniting to join me for the holidays.

But at the mean time, Mr. Exams is with me now. He won't be leaving until 2March. I hate this man, he is very stingy with his rewards. Not that I studied.

Mr. Exams likes to blame me, but it can't be helped. My enthusiasm for studying is short-lived. Everytime I start processing, I can't wait to stop it. I end up rushing till the end of the notes.

I hope Mr. Exams leaves quickly, I can't stand him any longer. Wish that he would leave behind his rewards, he never does that.

My Rotten BCA Final Test

I screwed it up.

Shengbao's fault.. Yongkang also..

Praying to get at least a 50%..

Played Sims 2

I recreated shan's character. I also created 2 other characters. 1 is called W, the other is H. lolx Both male, both gay. Their family name? Gaysm. Wahahaha!

Sorry shanx... don't take it to heart, i am just playing. seriously, don't be angry can? I made their house really really nice.. I also intend to make W marry into the Typhoid family.. so don't get angry okays? Just laugh it off okays?

If only I know how to get a screenshot of it to show u..

Finally...

Yep, got the skin done.
Nice and Proper.
Error-less.

But now i am unhappy with the song... its getting boring...

New objective: Search for a nicer song
Target: David Tao (influenced by shengbaoz.blogspot.com)

Or maybe I should stick to "Kiss Goodbye" - Or other songs by Lee Hom.

At a second glance at my blog, the song doesn't match the butterflies...

Something went wrong with the title. cant seem to edit the font size. bear with it. I will try and change the skin asap.

Bitchy Bitches Bitching (at a Bitch)

Yea, some will know that my greatest nemesis in secondary school branded me a Bitch. But like as if he isn't as bitchy as me. Ever since I left secondary school, I've heard horrible news about him. Some say he's got his revenge, then other's say he's lying to gain sympathy. So long as he's suffering, I'm happy. Unfortunately, I didn't see his sorrows for myself, so I'm not happy yet.

There were (*Note: Past tense used) alot of boycotts in the past. Now, I feel like history is repeating itself. Maybe I'm alittle too sensitive, but don't blame me cuz I've been through too many times of this and now, I'm Paranoid.

So since I feel like I've been played with, I shall keep low profile and start worrying.

I don't understand why does things like this keep happening to me and around me. I'm sick of it. It's plain childish. Can't one just learnt to be a little more tolerant and understanding? I tried to be tolerant. I tried to be understanding. It doesn't work, I get left out. Then to fit in, I joined in. Now, I'm kicked out again.
This Sucks.

A friend told me that I am very unlucky, I don't believe him. I just think that there are too many of us trying to survive together all at the same time, resulting in this shit. It would probably be better if there were more of the other kind with us and less of us around.

Signing off feeling pissed. Damn.

I feel the pain

I just learnt of a breakup between my idol couple. Maybe they weren't so perfect afterall, but they really looked like they were meant for each other.

I feel jealousness when I see them together. Now they are apart, I feel the pain.

In my eyes, they still look wonderful together.

PS. I think I should change my blogskin. I just realise this skin doesn't show the titles.

Option 1

Alright, so I chose Option 1 for this Valentines Day, but I swear I almost decided on Option 2 when I slept at 6am in the morning.

I forgot how I spent Valentines Day last year, but I believe this is the first time I actually spent it with a bunch of old friends chatting and walking aimlessly in town.

I've also done a research on couples during Valentines Day to keep my mind busy. I shall apply my WCOM skills and do a report.

Background
The behaviours of couples during Valentines Day.

Scope

• Dress code
• Gender

Findings

1. Dress code

Along the streets of Orchard Road, I've seen 9 couple-wear.

Of the 9 pairs, the 1st pair was the sweetest. They were wearing pink-white hawaiian flora shirt. The willingness of the guy made the girl feel so loved.

Pair No.7 was the weirdest. It was 3 teenage boys wearing identical t-shirts in Takashimaya. They were proudly talking at the top of their voices, saying that they are 兄弟 -clearly deprived of girlfriends.

The most loving couple-wear will go to a very old couple. They are probably in their late 60s. Well, its not exactly identical shirt, but they were wearing contemporary cheongsam and chinese pattern shirt, pretty couple in my point of view. The best thing was, they were holding hands walking and crossing the road la. This is the kind of love we all should be envious of.

2. Gender

There are 2 Lesbian couples, 3 Gay couples and 1 Babok(Ah gua).

There is no much findings on the lesbian couples, but there is 1 gay couple that shocked me. They were showing their affection to each other at the doorstep of Heeren. Disgusted.

The Babok was seen outside Urban Warehouse(old OG). It was tall, with saggy boobs, saggy skin, thick lips and wore a revealing red halter dress. It was accompanied by its friends, whom 1 was almost similar to it, except that she looked more like a female. Freaked Out.

This babok could still walk "elegantly"(so she thinks) down the street. I think she thinks that people are admiring her, when in actual fact, the stares were made by horrified eyeballs.

Conclusion and Recommendations

It would probably would have been better if I stayed at home. But on the other hand, I would probably be drowned by my wild thoughts for a dateless Valentines Day. These people did kept me entertained for the day, and so did my 老朋友s.

Promotion

My 1st niece is born! on 11th February 2006! She's sooo cute! I am finally an Auntie, at the age of 17+. My cousin haven't decided on the name yet, so I don't know what is the baby's name. She looks so fragile, like as if she will break apart any moment. Her cry is so screechy, I cant match with her.

It's Valentines day. It means memories and waiting for those in singlehood. Last year's Valentines was also dreaded. I though this year's will be better. Well, from one point of view, I've thought through alot of things, so this year's Valentines is more relaxed. But on the other hand, it doesn't feel good walking on the streets alone on Valentines day.

Today, I have 2 options.

Option 1: Find other dateless friends and console each other.
Option 2: Hide at home, close all doors and windows, refrain myself from seeing any warmth.

Somehow I have a gut feel that 1 year later nothing will change. It's harder to fall in love now. It seems much easier when I was younger. It's even harder to have a crush or even a target.
I must admit, I am old. Sigh.

My heart feels numb, like having crams. Well, I may be old, but I'm only 17+. There are still many chances, I just hope it would be soon.

Phew!!

BCA test wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I was pretty worried about the test because last night I watch 'Vampire' until late at night. I woke up late and had to rush to school. There was no time for me to look through my textbook in the morning. Went into the class late and had no preparation time.

Fortunately, I still manage to finish the Quiz.

I realised that I made 2 Careless Mistakes!! One was a typo error! And... the question paper require us to do a Scenario Summary. I did the Scenario, but I did not create the Summary! Argh!!! 6 Marks down the drain for the Scenario Summary Question and 1 mark for that stupid Typo error!!! Pissed off lahx!!! 5% lehx!! It costs alot to me lahx.. considering the fact that I hardly do well for theoretical exams!! This means that I cannot slack for the exam le...

If only I can get like a few more marks for the scenario summary. Then mayb I can get like 4%, to boost my overall.

Well, Happy Birthday Felicia! I'll be back to update you on more!! Cheers!!!!

What are friends for?

I believe I do give a helping hand to my friends if they really needed my help. But how come I don't see them returning favours? I really need aid this time and nobody is willing to step up and help. Some friends.

I understand how cw feels now, being stranded alone. Stop pushing the task to each other. Anyhow do also need people to help then can do. I need more than one person's help and none of you are willing to. All sorts of excuse, no sch, go out (to play), refuse to reply.

When will all of you grow up and start thinking for others? I am seriously killed. Thought I could have count on you friends. Now I have to think of other ways, taking up my time, cannot find other ways yet. If I really end up doing badly for this module, I will not forgive any of you. And one of you will even have to forget about your CNY Big Feast that I owe you, cause now we are quits.

I am so DEAD. Nights Everyone.

恭喜发财

This year's CNY's angbao is quite a heap. Satisfied.

The only regret is that I didn't have much time to get new clothes. All of them were bought in a rush.

I insisted on not gambling this year. My dad lost $400+ today. My uncle was the big winner. He won $1000+, I wanna be his disciple! But my cousin play cheat, he stopped me.
Tried playing majong, mission failed. Almost had a headache. So many tiles, so noisy.

I eat until I'm having a toothache now. Need to go brush my teeth later to soothe the pain.

School's early tmr, back to bed now.