Black + White = Grey

This morning, I had a revelation.

I realised that while everyone is constantly moving forward, I'm staying still in the same spot, running on a treadmill.

I still feel the betrayal, but the emotions were clear-headed and rational. You see, the difference was 1 was hidden in the dark, while the other came out into the light.

While maybe the additional information of the existence of "guilt and conscience" helped to a certain extent, it was not enough to get me out of an aged long dilemma.

Then I wonder, with the new me who feeds on company with friendship, and with no reservations to engaging in social activities, would I then react differently if the real person ever stands in front of me?

Afterall, the new me is not an upgraded version of my personality. It's a dug out portion of Na that was forced hidden for a very long time.
It seems like people who grew up in the same country, but stranded in another, doesn't seem to mind "straightforward, blunt, and sarcastic" people.

This then blurs out the previous friendship theory I was working on:
I make friends whom I want to keep,
I entertain those that benefit,
I leave the rest who are not worth it.

Now there's a grey area hiding behind the lines. Or maybe I'm looking at this too academically. I should just go out there and let the music go with the flow. Spontaneous reactions aren't my specialty, but then I'll know what my true feelings really are.





Once I've let the cat out of the bag, it'll take double the effort to keep it in captivity again. People claim to embrace change, but will they tolerate change that they've once pushed away?





I know you've always been on my side. You were the only few who accepted me for who I am.
Which is why you've now blurred the line I drew.

This new grey area is unfamiliar and strange. I'm not sure how to feel about it.

Pardon me.