Saturday, April 15, 2006

Finally, I learn how fragile the human body is.

My ah gong has been hospitalised for 5 days.

When he was 1st warded, his right eye was partially blind. Now, only his left eye has sight, but it's only partially visible. He has nearly lost his sense of sight.
The doctor suspects that there's an infection in his lungs. They are giving him antibiotics to fight the infection.
The worst of all, he suffered from stroke on his right brain in the past. Now, it has hit him again on the left brain. He was slightly diabetic, but it's pretty serious now.

Why did it turn out so bad, you may ask. He hasn't been taking his medication for nearly 9months. Reason? The fault lies in all of us. Nobody bothered, or showed much concern. No one monitored and reminded him. We assumed that he would have known, we assumed that he should know his condition, we assumed that he understands, but we made an Ass out of ourselves and allow him to suffer.

To our surprise, my hokkien ah ma, who was the one who's more 'immatured' in her thoughts, learnt to be good and takes her medication daily without fail. She does not know how to do chores, she has been spoilt since young and my dad and his siblings were brought up by my grandaunt. She has been like a child all her life, so she never liked to take medication when she's ill. However, we found out that she's more obedient than we thought.

I went to visit my ah gong just now. They put him on drip, making him drowsy. My ah gong can't recognise me and my voice. The doctor says it's due to the drip, but i'm still not convince, i'm still worried sick.

I almost fainted when I see my ah gong. He has lost so much weight. I never knew my mother's side (Teochew) ah gong. He passed away when I was 2, so I can't feel much. I am turning 18 in less than a month. This is the first time I felt so worried.

I feel so guilty. I feel I've not been filial. I feel like it's all my fault. I feel I have not shown enough concern. I feel helpless. What have I done to my ah gong?

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